


The Evolution of the Word Baby

by evakayaki



Series: Just a Four Letter Word [1]
Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Anal Sex, Angst, Bipolar Disorder, Complete, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gay Sex, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Love, M/M, Mental Health Issues, POV Isak Valtersen, Romance, Sex, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-01-14 23:41:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18486844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evakayaki/pseuds/evakayaki
Summary: To the world it may seem like a four-letter word, but to Isak it’s terrifying. Not because of what it is, but because of what it means for him. Or Isak’s reaction to five different situations where Even calls him baby and the one time where Even calls someone else that word.





	1. Can I Call You Baby?

Note: This is set during early season 3 (pre 3X08)

\----------------

The first time he’s called it he’s surrounded by everything _Even, Even, Even_. It’s just a whisper as his boyfriend slowly pushes into him for the first time ever. 

Isak is floating and yet somehow oddly he also feels so completely anchored by the way his and Even’s fingers are threaded together next to his head. The way that Even’s free hand is gently stroking his cheek. 

_“Baby.”_

It’s just a whisper against his lips, but Isak hears it, feels Even’s breath as he says it. And it sends his mind reeling. 

He has spent so much time trying to prove his masculinity, distancing himself from anything not “manly,” tries to do everything to just. Not. Be. Gay. Sometimes it’s still there. That need to deny, to run, to hide. But being with Even has allowed him the freedom to accept the parts of himself he’s tried so hard to block the world from seeing. 

The term catches him off-guard because that word is a girl’s term… or at least he thought it was. He had called Emma and Sara, and all those other nameless girls that word because it felt like he had too. Like a guy was supposed to. 

He wants to do something, he’s just not sure of what that something is. 

And it scares him. It scares him because he feels a little more softer, a little more warmer, a little more himself at being called that. 

It also makes him feel weak and lost and…vulnerable at the same time. And he has vowed to never let anyone see him vulnerable. Mad, he can do. Violent, sure. But vulnerable? 

He let his parents in, he let his sister in, and was left with nothing to grasp onto. No family. No support. He had to learn to be Isak Valtersen on his own. 

“Isak, Isak, Isak…” 

Even’s chanting his name quietly, almost reverently as he slides all the way inside of his boyfriend. Isak can only squeeze the fingers holding his and lets out a small moan at the feeling. 

“Are you okay?” Even’s voice is almost nonexistent, just a whisper. 

Isak nods because it’s the only thing he can do. All his friends think he’s this great womanizer, but in reality, he’s never really gotten started. Sure, he’s made out with girls, but the botched blowjob with Emma in the bathroom is as far as he’s ever gotten. 

Until Even. This boy who captivated him at the very moment they met. This boy who makes him laugh so hard he can’t breathe. This boy who smiled so kindly when Isak confessed he was still a virgin. This boy who was currently taking Isak’s virginity. Isak tried to focus back on Even and the involuntary noises the older boy was pulling from him.

_“Baby.”_

Another whisper accompanied by a harder thrust. Isak can’t help but cry out at that, arching his back, squeezing Even’s fingers again. His other hand roams from clenching the sheets so tightly to wrapping around Even’s neck. He feels Even so deeply inside that he thinks he might combust. 

“God.” Even moans, pulling out almost completely before shifting slightly. Isak sees black dots and a whimper escapes his lips as Even thrusts back in, hitting his spot just right. 

Even smiles as he kisses Isak, making sure to continuously hit _that_ spot. 

It’s only after a few thrusts that it becomes too much, painful even and Isak shakes his head in a silent plead, gasping. Even understands and switches his angle again, this time his tip grazes Isak’s spot occasionally.

Isak tightens his legs around Even’s hips, knowing that at any second he’s going to come. 

“Close, close, close,” He thinks he chants into Even’s mouth as their lips meet again. It’s not even a kiss, but it’s enough. 

Even nods, but doesn’t speed up his thrusts, instead he goes almost completely still, grinding into him. Isak is desperate and almost cries when Even finally slides his hand to wrap around Isak. Even barely strokes him before he’s coming. 

Isak can hear Even moaning before his boyfriend pulls all the way out to the tip before thrusting hard, intense, powerful, and then Even’s coming too. 

Isak feels Even spasming inside of him and sighs, letting his legs fall from Even’s hips. 

Even leans down and kisses him, light, soft, sweet before sliding out of him.

Isak watches as Even ties the condom and throw it into the trash bin, and a sense of emptiness falls over him. 

He curls up on his side, facing away from his boyfriend, feeling completely overwhelmed and outside of himself. 

_“Baby.”_

There’s that word again. He tries to curl even further into himself. He doesn’t even realize he’s whimpering until Even’s hand is stroking his side. 

“Did I hurt you?” 

Isak wants to shake his head. Tell Even no. But he can’t get the words out of his mouth. The only noise is a shuddered breath and a cross between a gasp and whimper. 

_“Baby,”_ Isak tries not to flinch at the word and Even’s gentle pleading tone, “Tell me what’s happening.”

Isak knows he’s starting to freak Even out. Can tell by Even’s tone. He wants to tell Even that he loves him. He wants to roll over and curl into Even and let his boyfriend hold him. He wants to, but his body won’t uncurl as the reality of what just happened, what they just did, keeps him there. He’s lost his virginity to the boy lying next to him. 

It hits him that he just let another person inside of him, the dull ache and the stretch reminds him of that. Because this is it. He knows with every fiber of his being that he’s gay. He’s not bisexual or pansexual, like the boys suggested. He’s gay. And not only that, but he just got fucked by his boyfriend and it made him feel amazing. And he’s terrified. Terrified of what this means for him. Terrified of what his friends will think. Terrified of what the world will think. Of him. Of what he is. Of who he is. 

He feels something drop down his nose and knows that he’s crying. Not heavy sobs, but just enough. He feels Even nuzzle the back of his neck, feels Even’s arm around his stomach, gently thumbing over the skin there. 

“I’m gay.” He whispers, finally. 

Even freezes for a second before he kisses Isak’s bare shoulder. 

_“Baby,”_ this time Isak can’t hold himself back, and his body stiffens for just the briefest of seconds, but Even’s felt it. 

“I...” His throat feels so dry, “No one’s ever called me that.” He confesses. 

Even frowns for a second, “Baby?”

Isak nods knowing Even can feel it. 

Even doesn’t know quite how to respond. “Do you…should I stop calling you that?” 

“No!” Isak startles himself. The word came out before his mind had a chance to catch up. “I..I mean…I…I want to…it’s not that…” He groans in frustration. He slowly unfurls himself and rolls over so he’s facing Even. His boyfriend automatically curls an arm around Isak, splaying his hand firmly on the small of Isak’s back. Even waits patiently for Isak to continue. “It’s so much. There’s…I’m just…it’s so much.” He pleads for Even to understand. 

Isak can see Even trying to work out his jumbled words. “I didn’t,” Even gulps, “I didn’t force you, did I?” 

And Isak vigorously shakes his head no. Out of everything, he knows one thing. He wanted this with Even. He wanted to be with Even. He just wasn’t prepared to get so caught up in his thoughts. “I wanted this.” He says with surety. It’s the only thing he’s really sure about. That he wanted this to happen with Even. 

“Then what is it?” Isak can tell that Even has to hold himself back from saying that four letter word again. 

Isak doesn’t know how to articulate what’s going on in his head. “I…I’ve given you all of me.” He finally settles on. “And, I’m gay. And I…you know I have a sister, right?” 

“Mmhmm,” Isak can see Even’s eyebrows knit in confusion as to where he is going with this.

“I told her…that I thought I…that I was confused about my…feelings for Jonas,” Isak can’t look Even in the eyes, “I wanted her support or something.”

“What did she say?” Even whispers.

“She…called me a…skinkerytter,” Isak whispers back. “I haven’t spoken to her since.” 

Even held him a little tighter. 

“I’m not weak,” Isak protests out of the blue. “Just because I let you…I’m not weak!” 

“No,” Even agrees, “You’re not.”

“I’m not,” Isak says one more time and wills himself to stop talking, but once he’s started, it’s like he can’t control himself. “This doesn’t make me weak. I wanted this.” 

“Is that what you think?” Even pulls away slightly, and Isak knows it was so his boyfriend could look in his eyes. “Isak, bottoming doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t make you anything…well maybe a little gay,” Even chuckled and Isak couldn’t help but giggle quietly along. “Sex is about feeling good, it’s about making your partner feel good. Just because you wanted me inside of you for your first time doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means that you wanted me to make you feel good.” Even’s searching Isak’s eyes, and Isak tries to take in what Even’s saying. “You were incredible. And maybe next time you’ll be inside me. Does that make me weak?” 

Isak shakes his head. Even was so strong. So confident. Ever since they met. And the idea of being inside Even sometime made his heart beat just a little bit faster. 

“Can I call you baby?” Even asks after a few seconds.

Isak nuzzles his nose against Even’s collarbone. “Why do you want to call me that?” 

“Because…” Isak feels Even gently take his chin in hand and force their eyes to meet, “I-I care so much about you. Because I want the world to know what you mean to me.” Isak leans in to kiss his boyfriend and buries his face into Even’s neck. 

Suddenly that word doesn’t seem so scary anymore. Yes, Isak still feels a pull of something, but it’s not the sheer terror. So, he slides a little closer to Even, finally turning off that side of his brain and just allowing himself to focus on Even and Isak. 

“I’m covered in cum,” Isak says matter of fact into Even’s neck. That sets Even off, and the older boy is laughing as he pulls away from Isak. A giggle erupts from Isak. 

“Come here baby,” Even is still smiling as he framed Isak’s face with his hands and pulls him into rub their noses together. 

Isak smiles back, letting that word wash over him. 

_Baby._

Maybe he could get used to it.


	2. Do you think I should cut my hair?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Even calls him that word after Even’s gone through a bipolar episode is in front of Sonja. Isak is exhausted from the revelation that Even is bipolar. That he was manic. That he crashed into a depression.
> 
> Takes place between 3x10 and 3x11.

The first time Even calls him that word after Even’s gone through a bipolar episode is in front of Sonja. 

Isak is exhausted from the revelation that Even is bipolar. That he was manic. That he crashed into a depression. He remembers being so desperate that he had called Sonja, apologizing if he caused this. 

It took two days before Even could even bear to get out of Isak’s bed. Another two days before Even could venture out into the rest of the kollektivet. Even then, Isak noticed that Even would cocoon himself inside Isak’s duvet if he did leave the confines of the bedroom. 

Eskild had been so paternal and supportive during that time and Isak loved him for that. When he couldn’t be home, Eskild would make Even shower and eat. Eskild even managed to pry the duvet from Even so he could wash it once.

Little by little Isak watched his boyfriend find his way back to the world, to him. 

“Do you think I should cut my hair?” 

Isak looked over at his boyfriend, just as Even pushed some loose strands behind his ear. Even’s hair was freshly washed and air dried, but hadn’t been styled. It made the older boy look much younger than his 19 years. 

He loved Even’s hair. Loved when it came loose from hair products and tickled his face as Even fucked him. Loved when it stuck up in odd angles right when Even woke up in the morning. Loved to run his fingers through the soft strands on lazy days when they could just stay inside and shut out the world. 

Without thought, Isak reached over and ran his hand through Even’s hair, smoothing it back. Today was a chill day, as Isak had proclaimed. They had slept in, Isak exhausted from trying to catch up in his science classes, Even recovering from the last vestiges of his episode.

“Nei,” Isak whispered softly, enjoying the feel of the silk strands between his fingers, letting his fingers wander over Even’s scalp. 

Even practically moaned at the impromptu head massage. “Hmmm.” He sighed and closed his eyes. 

“Feel good?” Isak laughed. 

“Hmmm,” Even responded, feeling himself start to drift. 

They jumped at a heavy knock, followed by Eskild’s questioning, “Isak?”

“Yeah,” Isak sat up on the bed. 

“Umm... good morning,” Eskild paused, “Uh... someone’s here to see Even.”

“Me?” Even shouted through the door, sitting up next to Isak. 

“Umm, yeah,” Eskild stopped again. 

“Who is it?” Isak started to get up. 

“It’s, uh, it’s...Sonja.” 

Isak stopped and turned to look at Even. He knew that Even was furious with his ex-girlfriend for what she said to Isak. On one of the sleepless nights when Even was crashing from his manic phase, Even had whispered that he didn’t think he could ever forgive her for what she said to Isak. 

“She can come in,” Isak was surprised at Even’s statement. 

“Okay.”

They waited for a few seconds before the door handle started to turn and Sonja appeared.

Isak felt Even tense saw him shove his hands into the pocket of the hoodie he was wearing... Isak’s hoodie that was just a tad too short in the arms for Even and tended to pull up, exposing a bit of Even’s stomach when the taller boy stretched his arms. 

“What are you doing here?” Even spat at her. 

“I know you’re upset, but I-”

“Upset doesn’t come close,” Even laughed humorless, “You tried to ruin the one good thing in my life.”

“He’s a child,” She gestured towards him and Isak did feel like a child at that moment. Sonja was 20, she had a job. Unlike Isak, who still liked to play FIFA with his friends, and wasn’t even old enough to buy beer. Isak, who was sat in nothing but an old pair of pajama pants printed with video game characters and a Simpson’s t-shirt. His feet were bare and he hadn’t bothered to fix his hair, just let it curl around his face naturally.

“I’ll just let you two-“ Isak started to get up, but Even’s hand wrapping around his wrist stopped him. 

“Stay right where you are, baby.” 

Isak watched Sonja’s expression change at the name. He saw her physically flinch.

 _"Baby?"_ There was desperation in her voice.

Even stood up from the bed, letting Isak’s hand go in the process. Isak felt like he was drowning at the lost of contact.

“Even, really? _Baby_?” Isak saw tears in her eyes and felt like he was intruding on something, even though Even was his boyfriend. 

“You need to let go of this fantasy, Son,” Even said softly. “I can’t be yours. Not the way you want.”

Isak wanted to leave, willed his body to do so, but it wouldn’t listen. 

“We were going to get married, Even. We’ve been together since we were fifteen.” She stopped herself and Isak watched a tear roll down her cheek. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the day I met you.”

Isak turned away when Even pulled her into his arms. At that second, Isak finally found his control and stood up quietly, heading towards the door to give them a minute. 

“Baby,” Even called after him softly. 

Isak tried to smile, nodding his head. _It’s okay. I understand._

Isak quietly pulled his bedroom door closed behind him and walked into the living room. He spotted Eskild and Linn on the sofa and sat on the coffee table opposite them. 

“Isak?” Eskild asked. 

“Hmm,” Isak was distracted and he couldn’t help it as he stared down the hallway. 

“You’re crying,” Linn commented as Eskild got up, forcing Isak to sit between his two roommates. 

Isak reached up to touch his face and the tips of his fingers touched sticky wetness. “He’s going to go back to her,” Isak’s voice was surprisingly steady. 

Isak felt Eskild’s arm wrap around him, pulling him into Eskild’s side. Isak let his head flop onto Eskild’s shoulder. 

“Did he say that?” Linn gently rubbed his thigh, and Isak curled further into Eskild. 

Isak shook his head, closing his eyes tightly. He couldn’t get the image of Even hugging Sonja out of his head. The way they just fit together. Sonja’s small frame melted into Even’s as they swayed slightly. Even comforting her. Even holding her. 

Thoughts of Even and Sonja together flooded through his mind. Them holding hands, holding each other, Even loving her. He could see that Even _still_ loved her. No matter what she did. What she said. How mad Even got at her. That passion, that spark, that connection was always there. 

“Isak,” Eskild veered from using the name he had branded the younger boy with. “Even loves you.”

Isak shrugged. Was it love? Or had Sonja really been right that night? 

“Why do you think that? Why would you think Even doesn't love you?” Linn wanted to know. 

Isak shrugged in Linn’s direction. “I can’t compete with her,” Isak sniffed. “There’s so much history there. They were each other’s first. That matters. She’s pretty. She’s established. She’s been there for him. She’s the one he turned to when he was first diagnosed bipolar. And I...I’m just me. Some kid who couldn’t even hold his hand in private, let alone in public. Some kid who is awkward and scared, and terrified of being gay! Some kid who can’t handle it when his own boyfriend calls him _baby_!” Isak felt so tired. The past few weeks seemed to have just piled on top of him and he just wanted to stop. “I’m just so tired,” He admitted with a groan. 

"Isak felt Eskild pull him into his side just a little bit tighter, "It's okay. It's okay to feel all those things." 

"No it's not,' Isak buried his head into Eskild's shirt, "He deserves so much better. He deserves someone who can actually kiss him in public." 

Eskild shook his head, "Why can't I just be fucking normal?" He groaned.

"Hey," Isak felt Eskild jostle him just enough to sit up, "You are normal. You're fine, okay? You've just...you've had to deal with a lot this week. You're tired. You're stressed. You know what? Guru's going to take care of you now."

Isak sniffled, "No-Esk-"

“We're going to go lay you down in my bed.” Eskild stated, “And you are going to get some sleep.”

Isak sighed. He had tried to sleep these past few days. He had really tried. But every time he felt himself start to go under, he’d jolt awake, afraid of what Even would do. Terrified that he’d wake up to find the older boy _just_ gone. 

“I’m okay,” Isak uncurled from Eskild’s side and stood up, already missing his warmth. 

“Isak,” Eskild scolded, standing up. Isak felt a firm hand wrap around his wrist and he was dragged down the hall to Eskild’s room. 

“Sleep,” Eskild demanded, turning Isak around and gently shoving him towards the bed. Isak felt the back of his knees hit the bed, forcing him to sit on the bed. 

Isak let out a whine, but his exhausted brain had other plans and before he knew what he was doing, he was crawling under the blanket. His head had hit the pillow and his whole body felt like lead. 

“Even...” he whimpered, "I just want Even." Isak knew he sounded desperate and clinging. But his brain was running on low and all he could think was that he was so sleep deprived, he wanted to cry.

Eskild nodded, “Guru’s going to make everything alright.”

Isak wanted to say something, but it just felt like too much work. 

———————

The room was dark. That was his first thought. It was dark and he didn’t recognize the blankets covering him. 

“Mmm,” He whined. His brain felt so foggy. 

“It’s okay, baby. Go back to sleep.”

That’s when Isak felt a hand tighten around his middle, a puff of air on his neck. Wisps of hair ticking his cheek. 

“Even?” Isak could hear the small tremor in his voice. He turned his head, only to have a face full of dark blonde hair. 

“Hi,” Even lifted his head from Isak’s shoulder. 

“Halla,” Isak yawned. He willed his body and brain to start waking up and come back online. 

Even’s eyes on Isak freaked him out a little because he didn’t know what was going on. Where he stood. 

“I love you.”

Isak felt his blood freeze, ”Wh-What?”

“I love you,” Even repeated. “Fuck, Isak, I'm so in love with you.”

“That’s...that’s the first time you’ve ever said that to me.” 

Isak watched as Even moved in to kiss Isak’s forehead. “I should’ve said it a while ago.

“Are you sure you want to be in love with... _a child_ ,” Isak parroted Sonja’s words, he couldn’t help but let a little bit of bitterness out. 

“Hey, hey, don’t be like that,” Even tisked, and Isak felt the arms around him tighten.

Isak sighed, turning over to face his boyfriend, “It’s just…you loved her too. She’s…fuck, Even, she’s your equal.” 

“What are you talking about?” Isak saw genuine confusion in Even’s eyes. “My equal?” 

“I’m just some kid that couldn’t even hold your hand without freaking out. I’m just some kid who’s never had sex until you. I’m just some kid who…who is an insomniac loser with mommy and daddy issues, who is so afraid of being seen as weak, that he can’t even hear his boyfriend call him baby without a small amount of fear creeping in. I can't even kiss you in public, for fuck's sake! And she can!” Isak panted, embarrassed the he just admitted all of that. 

“Isak?” He could feel Even sit up. Could feel his eyes burning into him. 

“Just…just forget I said anything,” Isak turned and buried his face into the pillow underneath him, letting out a frustrated scream. It smelled of Eskild, but also a couple different scents of cologne. Probably from Eskild’s hook-ups. In a way, it’s comforting. 

“Isak, that’s not…I don’t…” Isak heard Even take a breath, “This is all new to me too. I’m scared too. I’m scared because I’ve never thought of myself as pansexual. For me, I’ve always just gone for people I’m attracted to, and yeah, most of the time it was a girl. I won’t lie to you and tell you that you’re my first guy, because you’re not. But you’re the first _person_ , guy or girl, that has ever made me feel this way. When I’m with you, I feel…more myself than I’ve ever been. I feel so safe and wanted and… _me_.” Even stopped for a second. “I’m scared of my bipolar driving you away. I’m scared of you realizing I’m too much trouble then our relationship is worth. Especially now after what I’ve just put you through. But, Isak, I want to be with you.”

Isak sat up and tentatively reached out and took a hold of his boyfriend’s hand. “I can’t…” He cut himself off.

“You can’t?” Even prodded. 

“I can’t help it…I keep replaying things in my head and I just keep wondering, every time we were together. Everything we shared. You taking my virginity. Was it all part of your…episode?” Isak had to know the one thing that had been plaguing him. 

Even shook his head, “Just because I’m bipolar, doesn’t mean that everything I do is a result of that.” 

Isak felt his cheeks heat up in shame. “I wasn’t implying that, I just… we got so intense so fast that…I need to know this is real. That you won’t leave me for Sonja again.” 

“No,” Even said quietly, forcing Isak to strain to hear him. “I wasn’t manic when I took your virginity. I wouldn’t do that to you. It’s special. Losing your virginity _is_ special," Even took a breath, "And everything we shared, that was me. Just me. Even Bech Næsheim.” Isak felt a light kiss press against his cheek. “As for Sonja, she’s always going to be in my life. We’re connected in a way, just like you and Jonas. But she knows that her and I are over because I met the most adorable, blonde haired, hazel eyed, second year, who has the cutest giggle, the biggest heart, and takes my breath away every time I see him.” Even punctuated with a kiss that Isak got lost in for a moment. 

When the need to breath became too strong, they both pulled back, panting. 

"Woah," Isak blushed, leaning into Even, encouraging the older boy to wrap safe arms around him.

Even breathed out a laugh, "Yeah. Wow." 

Isak reached up so he could rub their noses together.

“We’re going to need to have a serious chat about everything,” Even stated softly, and Isak winced. “But right now, all I want to do is be with you. Close to you. It’s been way too long.”

Isak nodded, wanting to connect with his boyfriend again. Wanting to feel that intimacy and safety between them. It might not be the greatest idea to have sex after their week, but Isak knew they both needed that emotional release. 

“No sex on my bed!” Eskild’s voice boomed around the room and Isak laughed, leaning heavy into Even, who’s chest was also vibrating with laughter. 

“You ready to go back to your room?” Even stood up, holding his hand out.

They may not have talked about everything, but they were together. 

Isak nodded and grabbed Even’s hand. “Yeah.” 

“Baby?” Even asked tentatively, almost timid. Isak waits. “So, you don’t want me to get my hair cut?” 

Isak snorted, shaking his head, feeling some of the weight of the world slip away from him.

“I love you,” Even repeated, pulling Isak in for a quick kiss. “I love you.” 

And although Isak couldn’t tell Even he loved him back yet, he knew without a doubt that he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos and comments!


	3. Swimming to the Surface

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And it’s like I was just thrown into the deep end of a pool and I’ve been trying to swim to the surface ever since.
> 
> Takes place a few weeks after 3x10.

The first time Even calls him that word in public, they’re at the Kollektivet. Eskild has insisted that they have a party because Isak is finally _out_. Isak can’t help but laugh at the memory of Eskild barging into his room earlier that afternoon holding up his phone. Isak immediately recognized the photo on the screen, it was the first photo he had posted to Instagram of him and Even. Even kissing Isak’s cheek as Isak smiled brightly. Eskild had squealed and declared that this was a momentous occasion that required beer and friends. Isak just rolled his eyes, telling Eskild that the photo had been up for a couple weeks already.

“Well I just found it. Let me have _my_ moment Isak! This is about me!” Eskild had retorted with his flair. Leaving Isak to raise his hands in surrender, but muttering, “It’s not even _your_ relationship.”

Naturally Even, Noora, and Linn were invited, as well as Jonas, which turned into Jonas, Magnus, and Mahdi. Then Sana was invited which led to the girls’ squad finding out, so now their house was full of life and music. Isak doubted that any of them knew of Eskild’s motivations for throwing the party, only that there was free beer. 

So here they were, with Isak just on the right side of tipsy. He wasn’t yet drunk, but he wasn’t sober either. He felt buzzed. Good. Relaxed. Even’s thigh was warm against his as they sat on the sofa across from the boys. He hadn’t been paying attention to the conversation as he let a smile play on is lips, looking over his friends and his boyfriend. It was nice knowing that there was no more hiding. He was himself. 

Even’s laughter pulled him out of his thoughts and smiled over at his boyfriend engaged in a conversation with Magnus, who seemed to hang onto every word his boyfriend spoke. 

“You want?” Isak turned his head to see Jonas had moved to sit on the arm of the sofa next to him. He was holding a joint. 

Isak contemplated it for a second and shook his head. “I’m good.” 

Jonas nodded and pocket the smoke. “You doing okay? We haven’t talked in a while.” 

“We talk every day,” Isak pushed himself up to look at his best friend.

“Yeah, but that’s at school and shit,” Jonas shrugged.

“I’m okay,” Isak promised, sighing as Jonas nudged him over so Jonas could sit next to Isak. 

“I just…I know things were…you know,” Jonas nodded his head towards Even and Isak nods back.

“We’re good. Everything’s good.” Leaning his head against the back of the sofa, Isak turned so he could look at Jonas without having to sit up.

Jonas nodded in response.

“You’re still my best friend,” Isak promised, feeling the warmth of the alcohol flow through him, “I’m just…happy.” Isak smiled.

“Do you want to get kebabs tomorrow?” 

“Just me and you?” Isak watched him.

Jonas nodded.

“Sure.” Isak patted Jonas’ knee. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just…I feel like we should hang out or something.” Jonas shrugged, “You’ve been through a lot and I dunno, maybe you want to just chill and stuff, like we used to.” 

Isak nodded and before he can respond, out of nowhere Even’s lips are on his. Isak laughed in surprise, but it’s swallowed up by Even. 

“Halla,” Isak giggled when they pull apart. 

“Halla,” Even’s smiling so wide his eyes crinkle. “You want another beer?” 

Isak shook his head, “Some water?” 

“Sure,” Even pecked his lips as he stood, “Be right back, baby.” 

And there’s that word. Isak still sometimes struggles with why it makes him feel safe and scared at the same time. But at this moment, it feels more scary than safe. The boys’ conversations have died down and Magnus and Mahdi are now staring at him, Jonas is giving him a knowing smile.

“Baby?!” Magnus repeated in that excited voice all the boys know all too well. “Did he just call you baby?!” 

Isak knows he’s blushing and wants to pull his snapback over his face. 

“When did this happen?!” Mahdi asked.

“Baby?” Magnus seems to be incapable of not saying that word now that it’s left Even’s lips.

“Fuck off,” Isak mumbled. 

Magnus laughed brightly, “He called you baby!” 

“I called Eva baby,” Jonas tried to help, but now all Isak wants is for the sofa to swallow him up.

“But she’s a girl!” Magnus argued, “Wait…are you the girl?” He asked in confusion. 

“What?! Nei!” Isak protested, but all his insecurities seem to come swimming right back up to the surface with that one question. 

“But…” 

“Magnus,” Jonas tried to warn.

“I don’t understand,” Magnus pushed his hair out of his face, “How does it work?” 

Madhi shook his head at his friend, but Isak knows it’s too late. Once Magnus has an idea, he runs with it. 

“You don’t need to know how my relationship works,” Isak muttered. 

“But like, he called you baby,” Magnus argued, “Like we call girls.”

“Magnus,” Jonas tried again, and Isak can feel Jonas’ eyes on him. “ _Stop_.” 

“But Even said baby,” Magnus tried again and just as he says it, Vilde walks by.

“Even called who baby?” She stopped and Isak knows her eyes land on him, “Even called Isak baby!” She squealed in delight. 

Before Isak can process what is happening, the entire girls squad is surrounding him. Staring at him. Cooing at him. And it’s too much. He wants to run, but he doesn’t know where. So, he stood abruptly and walked as fast as he could to his bedroom. He needs a moment, or at least that’s what he tells himself, just a minute and then he’ll go back. 

He sat on his bed and took a breath. His hands were shaking. Why did Magnus have to say girl? Why did he have to call Isak a girl? Why did Even have to say that pet name out loud? 

He wants to scream, but he can’t. So instead he rips his cap off his head and throws it on the floor. He runs his hands through his hair, fingers catching on a tangled up curl every now and again. He felt stupid for leaving. He felt stupid for letting it get to him. He felt stupid for having so much emotion towards a four letter word. 

“Isak, can I come in?”

It’s Even.

Isak doesn’t answer, just walks to the door and opens it. Even took a step inside and shut the door behind him.

“Magnus told me what happened…and Vilde…and Jonas…and Mahdi…and-“ 

“Everyone,” Isak mumbled. Already feeling embarrassed.

Even reached for his hand and Isak lets him tangle their fingers together, “Why don’t you tell me what happened?”

“Can’t I just stay here forever with you holding my hand,” Isak asked, reminiscent of a time not too long ago when Even had asked him a similar question in that very room. “Can I?” 

“You could,” Even tugged Isak closer to him, and Isak let himself stumble into his boyfriend’s arms. “Or you could tell me why you’re in here and not out there with our friends.”

Isak sighed and let himself breathe in Even, “I freaked.” 

“I figured. Why?” Even asked quietly. 

“I’m not a girl,” Isak sniffed. 

Isak can feel Even nod, “You are not a girl.” 

“They all assumed I was the girl role in our relationship.”

“All because I called you baby?” Even wrapped his arms a little tighter around Isak.

Isak shrugged.

“Isak, I’m older than you, taller than you…I think people are just going to assume that I’m the ‘dominant’ one.” Even sighed, “It sucks. And it doesn’t make it right and it doesn’t make it true, and it shows how society is always going to try to put us in these boxes. Boy. Girl. Gay. Straight. Weak. Strong. But _baby_ ,” Even paused again, purposely using that word, “That’s not us. Only we know how our relationship is. All that matters is you and me, probably more you then me. Your friends don’t know that you hold me together when I think I’m losing my mind. Fuck, Isak, how many times have you reminded me to take my keys, or charge my phone, take my meds, or not smoke weed.”

“Or pull you out of the street when you went into director mode and saw a field that would be ‘just perfect for a break-up scene,’ that you didn’t realize you were about to walk into oncoming traffic.” Isak remembered, he could still feel his hands moving fast and grabbing Even by the hood, pulling him hard onto the safety of the sidewalk. Even had tumbled into him and they had both ended up on the ground as people passed by.

“Exactly,” Even laughed, “But don’t let them take that away from you. Baby, what do you want?” 

“You,” Isak breathes, “Us.”

Even smiles, “I want us too.”

“When…” Isak’s voice is so small that Even strains to hear it, “When you call me baby, it scares me.” 

“Why?” 

Isak knows he has to tell Even. They had this conversation briefly before, but Isak couldn’t express it then. “I don’t want to be vulnerable, and when you call me…baby it feels like everything in me is being exposed to you…and now to all our friends. I’m…I’m scared what will happen if…if I lose you. When I lose you.” 

Even doesn’t know what to say, “All of that from me calling you baby?” 

“Yes,” Isak twitches in Even’s arms.

“You’re not going to lose me,” Even promises. 

Isak so badly wants to believe him, but he’s heard those words before. His dad when he walked out had told him, “you won’t lose me son. I’ll be back.” His sister had said the same thing, “Isak, you’re not losing me. We’ll see each other soon.” And his mom, “I’ll always be here for you, you’re never going to lose me.” But he had. And he doesn’t know if he can survive any more loses. 

“Everyone says that, but they all leave,” Isak focused on the wall behind Even’s head.

Even sighed, “I won’t. No matter what, I’m always going to be here for you. You won’t lose me, Isak. Believe in that. Okay, baby?” 

Isak wants to, but he doesn’t know if he can. So, he just holds on to Even.

—————————————

“You know Mags didn’t mean anything when he made that girl comment,” Jonas took a bite of the kebab, watching Isak play with his. 

“I know,” Isak nodded.

“I wanted to check on you, but Eskild said to let Even take care of you,” Jonas admitted and Isak half smiled at him.

Dropping his fork, Isak set down his kebab on the table, “I…I’m sleeping with him. Even.” 

“I figured that much,” Jonas shrugged, “You two have been together for a little while now. I figured you were probably messing around.” 

Isak knows he’s turning bright red, “It’s more than messing around. I’m…he’s been…we’re fucking. He’s fucking me. I’m letting him fuck me.” He rushed out.

Jonas looks at him for a second trying to process the word vomit that Isak just threw at him, “Oh…okay.”

“Do you think that makes me a girl?” Isak lowered his eyes to his food.

“No,” Jonas shrugged, “Do you think it makes you a girl?”

Isak shrugged.

“Dude, why would that make you girl?” Jonas asked in confusion.

Isak shrugged again, “Because…because I’m letting him…you know,” Isak blushed and lowered his voice, “Be inside me.”

“Are you being safe?” 

Isak nodded, embarrassed. “Uh...yeah.”

“Do you...like it?” Jonas asked. “Like, is it, I guess, pleasurable for you?”

Isak nodded, unable to look at his best friend. “I come.” He whispered. 

“So, the problem is...?” Isak can see Jonas trying to connect the dots. “There is nothing ever bad about a consensual orgasm, bro.”

“I don’t know,” Isak shrugged. 

He heard Jonas sigh, “You like it when your boyfriend penetrates you and makes you feel so much pleasure that you blow a load. Still not seeing a problem here.”

Isak knows he’s cheeks are heating up, “Jonas,” he groaned. 

“Hey, you brought it up,” Jonas quipped back.

“You don’t think–”

“I think that makes you human,” Jonas reasoned, “You like it when your boyfriend makes you feel good. So, what? That’s not a girl thing, it’s like…it’s a people thing.”

“But…I…I let him come in my ass.” Isak doesn’t know why he’s arguing.

Jonas frowns, “Dude, are you trying to make me throw this up? I don’t want to picture what you and Even do in the bedroom,” Jonas shivered in mock disgust, but it’s all in good nature, “It’s too weird. You’re my best friend.” 

“But…”

“Isak, I think the only person who has a problem with it is _you_ ,” Jonas shoveled some more kebab into his mouth, “I don’t care about who does what to who.”

“But Mags,” Isak once again tried to argue.

Jonas rolled his eyes, “Magnus is an idiot sometimes. He doesn’t think and doesn’t really know much about sex in _general_ , let alone _gay sex_. He only knows how it works in terms of _guy_ and _girl_. So, when he says _girl_ , he doesn’t mean _girl_. He means…who is on _bottom_. That’s the term, right? Bottom?” 

Isak cleared his throat, “Yeah…how do you know that?” 

“I know stuff!” Jonas protested with a laugh, “But seriously, I Googled some stuff to see how I could…help you through this.” 

Isak laughed at his usually cool and collected best friend heating up in the cheeks. “What did you Google, Jon?” 

Jonas blushed even brighter.

“What did you Google?” Isak giggles.

“Gaybestfriendsex,” Jonas mumbles.

“What was that?” Isak smiled, laughing.

“Gay. Best. Friend. Sex,” Jonas repeats, “Brings up a lot of…erm, adult websites.” 

Isak cackled at his friend for a few minutes until he’s calmed down. And after a comfortable silence, Isak saw Jonas start to talk again. 

“Is that the same reason you got weird when he called you baby?” Jonas took another bite and Isak finally looks at his friend and nods. 

“I’m trying to get past this, but…I just can’t seem to let it go,” Isak admitted.

“Because of your family?” Isak knows that Jonas already knew the answer to that question.

Isak nodded. 

“Isak,” Jonas started, “Let this happen for you. Even makes you happy. Happier than I think…fuck, then I’ve ever seen you.” 

Isak sighed, kebab long forgotten. “It’s like…I feel like everything’s gone so fast, you know? And it’s like I was just thrown into the deep end of a pool and I’ve been trying to swim to the surface ever since,” Isak paused. “When he calls me…baby, I just feel so safe and secure. But then my brain takes over and it’s like, I’m not me any more.”

“How so?”

“It’s like…it’s like until three months ago I was this whole other person. I wasn’t gay, or ‘the guy hooking up with that third year,’ or another guy’s boyfriend, or…someone’s baby,” Isak laughed bitterly. “And now, it’s like I’m Isak _plus_ all of those things. It’s like everyone started seeing me as _gay_ before Isak. It’s like I’m either Gay or Isak.” 

Isak could feel Jonas’ eyes on him. “Did you ever think that maybe it’s okay to be both at the same time,” Isak huffed at Jonas. “I’m serious. Okay, umm, think of this kebab. You can eat everything on its own and it’d be okay, but when you put it all together? Fucking delicious. I think that’s like you. Isak’s a good guy on his own. And gay Isak is his true self on his own. But, put those two sides together…I’ve never seen you more yourself then when you’re with Even.”

Isak blushed, “When I’m with him and he calls me baby, it feels like home. Like comfort. And I don’t want that to stop. I’ve never had that and if people know. If they hear that…they can ruin that. When you expose yourself to people like that, they can hurt you.” Isak didn’t want to see his best friend’s reaction. 

“Yeah, I suppose they can. But if that word makes you feel loved by him, why the hell does it matter?” 

Isak sighed, “Did you know he was…that he was my first time?”

“He was?” Isak watched as Jonas’ thick eyebrows knitted in confusion, “With a guy?”

“With anyone.”

“Oh,” Jonas nodded, “I thought you were hooking up with all those girls at parties? And Emma?”

Isak shrugged, “Every time I…tried, I couldn’t, um, get it up. It never felt right. And with Even, it just felt so natural. I’ve just always felt like everything was okay with him. Like I could tell him anything.”

“Do you love him?” Jonas asked sincerely. 

Isak nodded, “I do…I haven’t told him yet.”

“Why not?”

Isak sighed, “I guess…I was just waiting for something to go wrong. It just seems like when things are finally going right, shit falls apart. My parents, Lea, Even’s episode. Fuck man,” Isak pauses, “You got that joint still?”

“Sorry, smoked it last night,” Isak cleared his throat watching Jonas. 

“It’s not that I don’t want to. I know he’s being patient. He tells me he loves me all the time and I can’t say it back,” Isak whined. 

Jonas laughed, “So text it.”

“What?” Isak stopped. 

“Text it,” Jonas repeated and Isak felt his chest constrict. 

“Isn’t that impersonal…shouldn’t I say it to his face?” Isak wondered. 

Jonas shrugged. 

“I-“ Isak’s phone going off signaling a new text message stops him. He looked at it quickly.

“Even?” Jonas asked.

Isak scrunched his nose, “How’d you know?”

“You’re smiling,” Jonas remarked.

Isak looked down at his phone again.

**BABY! I used the last of the toilet paper. Eskild’s FREAKING out! Buy some on your way home? PLEASE?!?!?**

Isak giggled. 

“Why would Eskild freak out about that?” Jonas asked after Isak held up his phone so Jonas could read it.

“It’s Eskild. He, like, has this fear that he’s going to get explosive diarrhea when there’s none.” Isak giggled. 

“O-Kay,” Jonas raises an eyebrow. 

“Yeah. I think he was traumatized as a child having to do with shitting his pants or something. He refuses to talk about it,” Isak shrugged. 

**I suppose…You owe me. I told you about this many, MANY times!**

Isak sent his text, “I think I have to go save Even. You want to walk with me to the tram?” Isak gathered up his trash. Jonas nodded.

**Didn’t think you were serious. Takk!”**

“Isak.” Isak turned to face Jonas, “If you ever need to talk, you know I’m here.”

“Takk,” Isak replied softly before turning to his phone. 

**Sure ;)**

He took a deep breath. 

**I love you**

There, he had finally said it, well typed it. But there it was in black and white. 

The reply came only half a second later. 

**I love you too**


	4. One Word Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was Even. The boy who had accidentally, but Isak suspects on purpose, let it out that they had stopped using condoms in front of his friends. This is the boy who will make love to him so gently and lovingly and then when they’re done fart in bed and throw cum covered tissues at him. 
> 
> Takes place in September 2017.

The first time Even calls him that word in front of the Bakka boys, It’s different. 

Even had been spending more and more time with his old squad. He was now an almost regular on Hei Briskeby. And Isak was good with that. It made him happy to see his boyfriend so happy. 

Somehow, he had been dragged to Elias and Sana’a house on a Sunday afternoon. As luck would have it, Sana wasn’t even home to hang out with him. So now Isak watched as Even and his friends chatted to a camera, just letting it run. One of them, meaning Even or Elias or both, would edit it later. 

“Even,” Elias started, “Our viewers have sent in a lot of questions ever since you joined the Briskeby fam.” 

“Oh?” Even laughed. “Like?”

Elias smirked at the camera, “Favorite color, favorite movie…”

“Favorite sexual position,” Mutta chimed in with a laugh. 

Even let out a surprised laugh and Isak knew Even was blushing even before he even looked at his boyfriend.

“O-kay. Now that Mutta’s got us all a warmed up, let’s play a game, okay? It’s called one word. We ask you a viewer…”

“Or our!” Mikeal added.

“Or our question and you answer with one word.” Elias nodded. 

“Okay,” Even agreed.

“First question. Are you married?”

“Nei,” Even shook his head. 

“Age?”

“20,” Isak watched Even with a soft smile. 

“We all know you’re in a committed relationship,” Elias stated. “What’s that like?”

Isak saw Even think for a minute, “Amazing.”

“Awww,” Mutta mock coos while Adam pretends to vomit.

Isak silently laughs with the boys and watches Elias get them back on track.  


“Okay, okay, okay. We already talked about this in another video, and if you haven’t seen it click the link below,” Isak smiled as all the boys pointed down. “Do you have a girlfriend or boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend.”

“Name?”

“Isak,” Isak smiled brightly as Even winked at him. 

It was not lost on Elias. “What’s that? Are you winking at...? Is that, Isak?! Come on Isak!” Isak flushed at Elias’ invitation. It’s not that he opposes being on camera, but that’s Even’s thing, not his. 

“Isak, Isak, Isak...” the boys chanted. 

Looking to Even for permission, Even just shrugged with a smile. 

It took him a second, but he gathered the courage and walked over to the sofa where the boys were squeezed together. 

The group erupted in cheers. 

“Isak everyone!” Adam shouted and Isak gives a little wave to the camera, already slightly regretting this decision. 

He’s pulled down, and before he knows it, he’s on his boyfriend’s lap. Even’s arms loosely wrapped around his waist, one hand playing with the hem of his shirt, the other resting on his thigh. 

“Welcome Isak,” Elias continued. “You know the rules. We ask you a question, you have one word to answer it.”

Isak nods.

“Okay, how long have you been together?” Elias asked. 

“Almost a year,” Isak answered. 

“So, your anniversary is?” Mikael asks, curious. 

“December 9,” Even answers quickly. 

Isak is surprised by Even’s answer. They’ve never really talked about the date. He’s always just thought of December as the month they finally got together. 

Even nodded, “It’s the day I knew without a doubt that I loved you.”

Isak felt his cheeks get warm and nuzzled Even’s nose against his, briefly forgetting they were on camera. 

“And, back to the game!” Elias interrupted. 

Isak nodded, moving to slide off Even’s lap and go off camera again. “I think that’s my cue.”

“Nei!” Elias insisted. “Stay.”

Isak tentatively settled himself back onto his boyfriend’s lap. 

“Oh, this is a good one, Elias looked up from scrolling through his phone. “Age you lost your virginity?”

“Fifteen.” Even admitted. 

Isak shook his head with a small laugh, “Seventeen.”

“Seventeen?” Mutta asked, “That means...damn! Even!”

Isak blushed, feeling Even’s embarrassed laugh vibrate against his back. 

“What was that like for you Isak?” Adam chimed in. 

Isak blushed. He didn’t want to be answering questions about his sex life on camera. “I’m not answering that.”

“That good, huh?” Mutta teased.

“Or Even’s just that bad,” Mikael laughed. 

“Oh, fuck you,” Isak heard Even protest, and saw Even’s hand reach out to flick Mikael. 

“Alright,” Isak could see Elias smirking at Even, “Next, while on the subject of sex, best fuck you’ve ever had? Even, you can’t say Isak. Isak you can’t answer.”

“Then I can’t answer that.” Isak felt a smile grow on his face at Even’s answer. 

“Fair enough,” Elias held his hands up, “Okay, here’s one. American films or music?”

“Boo!” Adam called out. 

“Music,” Isak nodded enthusiastically. 

He felt Even’s fingers let go of the bottom of his shirt and do a isn’t it obvious gesture, “Films. Definitely.”

Isak saw Mikael smile mischievously from Even’s side, “I got an idea. Why don’t you two ask each other questions. Something you don’t know about the other? Isak, you first.”

“Uh...okay,” Isak wracked his brain for something he didn’t know about his boyfriend, “What is the first thing you noticed about me? Before we met?

“Hair.” 

“Boring!” Mutta mocked in jest behind them. 

Even laughed, “What about me?”

“Demeanor.” 

“What does that even mean?” Elias chimed in and Isak felt his cheeks heat up. 

“He just seemed so confident. Like he’d only been at Nissen for a few hours and already people wanted to know him. And his face was just so bright and I couldn’t…help but notice him.” Isak rolled his lips inward, trying to shut himself up before he embarrassed himself even more. He was jerked back slightly as Even pressed a kiss to the back of his head.

“Even?” Adam prodded. “You get the last question.”

Isak felt more then heard Even clear his throat. “Well, this is the most important question I think Isak will ever be asked.”

Laughing, Isak didn’t want to roll his eyes. He knew it was going to be something stupid or embarrassing. This was _Even_. The boy who had accidentally, but Isak suspects on purpose, let it out that they had stopped using condoms in front of his friends. This is the boy who will make love to him so gently and lovingly and then when they’re done fart in bed and throw cum covered tissues at him. 

“Important, huh?” Isak laughs and raises his eyebrows to the camera. 

“Very,” Isak felt Even nodded. “Isak Valtersen,” Even started and Isak went to quip back and say Even’s full name until he saw Even’s hand in front of him, a glinting object between Even’s thumb and forefinger. It took his brain a minute to catch up, and when it finally registered what Even was nestling in his hand, Isak felt like time was stopping. 

“Baby, will you marry me?”

Isak was frozen, processing that his boyfriend was proposing. 

“Baby, I’d get down on one knee, but you’re kind of sitting on both of them.” Even tried to joke. 

Isak was dumbfounded. His brain screaming for him to answer, but he just gaped at what was happening.

“Baby?” Isak could feel Even’s free hand gently stroking up and down his right arm. 

Isak heard Mikael joke quietly, “I think you broke him,” and the other Bakka boys chuckling quietly. That seemed to pull his senses back. 

“Baby? Isak?” Isak could hear panic start to creep into Even’s tone. 

“We can turn off the camera,” Elias said on Isak’s right and the sofa dipped as someone started to get up. 

“No, wait...just...” Isak was trying to pull his thoughts together as quickly as possible. He took a deep breath, turning on Even’s lap as much as possible. “Ask-ask me again.”

A smile began to play on Even’s lips, “Isak Valtersen, marry me baby?”

There was that for letter word. The word Even had been uttering the whole time. The word that once held such terrifying ramifications. But here, now, sitting on his boyfriend’s lap in front of Even’s old friends...Even’s very _straight_ friends...well, he still had his reservations about Mikael...while that boyfriend proposed and no one was saying anything bad. No one was laughing at him, or calling him names. He knew none of them were thinking those things either. No one cared that he was Even’s baby, that he was gay, that he was sitting on his boyfriend’s lap, or that he was almost on the verge of tears. 

And with the promise of a future with the man he loved right in front of him. There was no way he could say anything but, “Yes,” Isak whispered with such sincerity and conviction in his voice. He leaned over to pepper Even’s face with kisses, each one emphasized with yet another yes. 

“Yes?” Even gently cupped Isak’s face in his free hand, bringing their foreheads together. “You will?” 

Isak nodded, blinking rapidly, trying to keep Even’s face in focus. 

“Yes,” Even repeated, and Isak felt his left hand being tugged forward and the slide of cold metal on that one special finger. “Yes.” Even’s smile was so bright. 

“Yes!” The boys cheered around them. 

“Well as you can see, there’s going to be a lot to celebrate. Keep commenting, keep tweeting, keep posting. We might give you a shout-out in our next video. Yousef will be back then so if you haven’t yet, hit that subscribe button. Thanks for watching we’ll catch you later!” Isak heard all the boys begin to shout and wave and dance or whatever, but he was too caught up in pressing small, biting kisses onto Even’s lips. 

\----------

It was later, much _much_ later, when their phones started to go off with notifications.

Even groaned at the noises and Isak giggled into his chest. “I think the latest episode of Hei Briskeby is posted.” 

“Hmmm,” Isak reached blindly behind him, grabbing for his phone where it had been tossed onto the bed from their earlier activities. He unlocked his phone, “47 new notifications.” He stated. 

Even grabbed his phone and squinted at the screen, “53.” As soon as Even spoke, the phone started to vibrate with an incoming video call. 

Magnus.

Isak went to press decline, but Even beat him and accepted the call. There was just something about Magnus that got to Even. Ever since the two met, Magnus acted like the sun set and rose over Even, and in return Even was just a little softer, kinder, more patient with him then any of Isak’s friends. “I swear, if you weren’t with me, you’d be with Magnus.” Isak had told him once and Even had shrugged, “Well he is blonde, same age as you, same friends…his innocence is just so cute,” Even laughed at Isak’s scandalized look. 

“Hey Mags!” Even smiled at the boy as his face lit up the screen. 

“Brrroooo!” Magnus shouted. 

“What?” Even asked innocently and Isak snorted into Even’s shoulder. The older boy pinched his bicep before running his fingers lightly up and down Isak’s arm as if apologizing for the small hurt. 

Magnus was exasperated. “You’re getting married!” 

“Yeah, that,” Even feigned ignorance. 

“Yeah that,” Magus mocked Even, “Wait…are you NAKED?”

Even chuckled, “Sure am, Mags.”

“And Isak’s…Isak, where are you?” Magnus squealed. 

“Hey Magnus,” Isak waved, his face going red as Even angled the phone so Magnus could see Isak cuddling Even’s shoulder. 

A shit-eating grin graced Magnus’ lips, “Are you two… you know?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“You can say it,” Vilde’s face appeared on screen next to Magnus, “Babe, I think Even would probably really like to go back to fucking Isak into oblivion.”

“Is that true?” Magus joked. 

Even laughed, “Bye Mags.” He ended the call and Isak let out a relieved breath, his face burning from Vilde’s comment. “Would you like that baby? Want me to fuck you into oblivion?” Isak found himself suddenly underneath Even, his fiancé’s face hovering inches about his. 

Isak’s response was to nod and pull Even down to him. 

—————

Dawn was just starting to peak into their window as they had finally calmed down. Both sated and tired. 

“How long had you been planning that?” Isak wondered, looking down at Even’s head resting on his chest. He couldn’t help himself and reached down to gently pet his fiancé’s head.

“I’ve been thinking about doing it since July,” Even admitted, “I talked to Elias and he suggested I do it on Hei Briskeby. We picked a day to film that Sana wasn’t going to be home, so you wouldn’t just ditch and go hang out with her.” Isak watched as Even grabbed his hand, twining their fingers together and kissing his ring. 

“I love you,” Isak didn’t know how many times he’d already said those words since leaving the Bakkoush house. 

Even’s response was a kiss to Isak’s abdomen. 

“Hmm,” Isak giggled and reached over for his phone,” It’s 4:02. We should probably try and get some sleep.” 

Even yawned and crawled so his head was laying on the same pillow as Isak’s. “We should probably watch Hei Briskeby, so we know what everyone saw.” Even suggested and Isak nodded along, pulling the blanket over the two of them. 

Isak handed over his phone to Even, feeling floaty and happy as he watched his fiancé pull up Youtube and the Bakka boys’ channel. 

“Hey we’re back. Right boys,” Elias’ voice rang out through the room. Isak laughed at the conversations between the boys and closed his eyes when he appeared on screen. He heard himself practically declaring that he lost his virginity to Even and cringed. Just picturing the looks he was going to get at school. 

It caught his attention how many times Even had called him baby in that short amount of time. It was comforting in a way, but at the same time made his heart beat just that much faster. He remembered the first time Even ever called him that word, and how much he had associated that word with so much negativity. Now, though, it didn’t feel as big. He had even started to recognize the different ways Even said it to him, the _baby_ that meant sex, the _baby_ that meant Even needed to be held, the _baby_ that meant Even was sick, the _baby_ that Even whispered so vulnerable and small after coming down from a manic episode, the _baby_ that Even breathed into Isak’s mouth on the occasions when Isak would push inside of Even and slowly bring his boyfriend to the edge until Even fell completely apart underneath him.

“…baby will you marry me?” Isak looked up at the screen, he let out a laugh at seeing his expression. “I look like a fish,” He commented, watching as the Isak on screen’s mouth hung open, kind of moving a little. Luckily the Bakka boys edited the video in way that was cute and quicker than the actual thing. “Baby?” Isak heard onscreen Even say and the boys remarking that Even broke him. He laughed with Even at an arrow with the text BROKEN ISAK pointing at him. Finally, the video showed Isak saying yes and he and Even falling into their own world. 

Even shut off Isak’s phone and Isak felt Even kiss his bare shoulder, feeling his fiancé’s half hard cock on his thigh. 

“Again?” Isak laughed in exasperation. 

“Just thinking about you and me and our life together,” Even nuzzled their noses together and Isak couldn’t help but stare into intense blue eyes. 

“Do you think that the other Isak’s and Even’s out there are this happy?” Isak brought his hand up to stroke Even’s cheek.

“For all the other Even’s sake, I hope they are,” Isak let out a surprised shriek when he suddenly found himself on top of Even. He balanced himself on his forearms framing Even’s head. “Baby, I want you inside me,” Even whispered with such need, that Isak felt himself harden at that.

Isak nodded, swallowing thickly. “Yes,” He bent down to capture Even’s lips and slide his tongue into Even’s mouth, mirroring what he planned to do shortly. “Yes.”


	5. Don't Let Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His relationship with his parents had gone for non-existent to rocky, but it was nowhere near the point where he thought he could stomach an entire dinner with both of them. But Isak knew that Even really wanted this. 
> 
> Takes place December 2017

The first time that Even calls him baby in front of their parents, it’s Christmas dinner. Isak and Even have spent the last three days cleaning their apartment, rearranging furniture to look less _American frat boy_ , as Eva had described it a few weeks ago.

So, they rearranged furniture, picked up the clothes that were randomly scattered about, made the bed, and splurged on an actual dinner table with chairs and an oversized IKEA armchair that they both could sit on.

They had been planning on having their parents over together for the holiday for the last few weeks. Even was the one to suggest it one night when they were getting ready for bed. Isak had frozen up for a second. His relationship with his parents had gone for non-existent to rocky, but it was nowhere near the point where he thought he could stomach an entire dinner with both of them. But Isak knew that Even really wanted this. Even had grown up with family and extended family and family that wasn’t even family but they were considered family anyways. And Isak felt overwhelmed by the idea of Even’s parents meeting his. 

No matter what Isak said, Even would never truly understand Isak’s childhood. Sure, he did his best, but he hadn’t been there. He hadn’t seen it. So, after a very long conversation with Jonas, Isak had agreed. 

And now here they were. 

“Halla mamma, pappa,” Even smiled as Isak opened the door. 

“How are you doing, honey?” Isak could hear the unspoken words. About a month before, Even had suffered a bout of hypomania that had lasted 48 hours. Even hadn’t crashed hard, just needed a day to recover afterwards. But it was enough to schedule a few extra appointments with his psychiatrist. 

During his episode, Even had just drawn a lot. Isak would come home and find the apartment littered with unfinished sketches, drawings tacked up on the wall, cartoons of the two of them all over the bed. Isak had actually framed a few of them and displayed it on the wall. 

Even had been embarrassed by it, but Isak kissed him, telling him “manic” was part of their lives and they needed to embrace that.

“I’m good, mamma,” Even hugged her. 

Isak knew Even’s parents were worried. It had been almost seven months without an episode and then this happened. Isak also knew that it had shaken his boyfriend to realize that, although it hadn’t been a full manic episode followed by a depression crash, he could still have mild mania. The doctor had to reassure Even multiple times that Even wasn’t relapsing, that the medication was still working, and setbacks were to be expected. But she did up his dosage just slightly, easing some of Even’s worries. That night, from the safety of Isak’s arms, Even had confessed that he was terrified he’d go full blown manic again. “I can’t do that again, Isak. I just can’t.” And Isak held him as he cried himself to sleep.  


“He’s doing good,” Isak promised her. And Even really was. 

“I’m glad he has you,” Even’s mother smiled, “Now, let me see that ring again, honey,” She insisted grabbing for Isak’s hand. Isak laughed. Every time they got together with Even’s parents, she made it a point to grab his hand and look at his ring, as if she couldn’t believe marriage was really happening.

“Mamma,” Even protested.

She shrugged, “What? I’m just so happy that my son is going to marry the person he loves.” 

Isak smiled at her. She had confessed to him once, when Even had gone with his father to get something from the store, that she was afraid that her son would never find love or get married after he was diagnosed. She knew Even was a lot to handle and despite him being with Sonja, she knew that her son would never end up marrying that girl. 

“Your parents are coming too, right honey?” She pulled him from his thoughts.

Isak nodded, “They should be here shortly.” Trying to stifle some of his nerves, he turned to Even, “Why don’t you get your parent’s a glass of something? We’ve got some wine or beer.”

“Alright,” Even grasped his hand briefly as he walked by, leaving Isak alone in the living space. 

It wasn’t long before more knocking came from their door. Smoothing down his dress shirt and run a hand through his curls, he took a deep breath and opened the door. He was surprised to see both his parents together, but he knew that Marianne and Terje were trying to be better for their children. Or at least that’s what they said. Isak still harbored so much resentment towards both, but he was working on it. 

He and Terje had gone to lunch two months prior. Well, lunch being kebabs on a park bench. But it had been a start. His dad had apologized for everything, and a few tears even rolled down Terje’s cheeks. Terje had said how much he loved Isak, how much he wanted to have a place in his son’s life, no matter how small. And Isak had just nodded along, listening to his dad make promises to him. Promises that Isak didn’t believe. Promises he’s heard before. But to his credit, Terje had been making an effort with him. 

With Marianne it was the same thing. She had been taking her medication and talking to her doctor. She’d met Isak a few times at a quiet coffee shop near her house. But he couldn’t bring himself to go back into her house, his childhood home – at least not yet anyways. Too many memories. Every time Marianne would ask him to come in, he could see the hurt on her face when he declined. 

They never talked about anything important. He told her about Nissen and what universities he was thinking about applying to. They didn’t talk about Even or their relationship. They didn’t talk about anything really.

“Hi mamma,” Isak hugged her briefly, like he would Vilde or Mahdi. “Pappa,” He accepted a side hug from the man. 

“Everything okay?” Terje asked awkwardly. 

Isak nodded, “Yeah.”

“This is nice,” Marianne commented, gesturing around the room.

Terje nodded along, “Seems like you had more room at that other place, though.” 

“We wanted our own place,” Isak felt his defenses start to flare up, “And you have never been to the kollectiv.” 

“I’m not judging, son,” Terje held up a hand stepping further into the apartment, “If you and your…boyf-, fian-… Even like it, that’s all that matters.” 

It wasn’t lost on Isak that his father still couldn’t bring himself to refer to Even as his boyfriend, or now, fiancé. It was always _your Even_. 

“Even and his parents are in the kitchen getting something to drink if you’d like to join them,” Isak suggested, hoping to break the tension. 

“Maybe in a minute,” Marianne waved her hand, engrossed at looking at her son’s living situation.

Isak watched her venture around the small room. She looked at the drawings and pictures they had stuck up on the wall in no particular fashion. It was just random things that he and Even liked. 

Terje joined her awkwardly, looking at the apartment décor. 

Isak continued to watch his mother pick up things and set them down gently. She picked up one of Isak’s snapbacks from the shelf, he didn’t know where it came from, only that he had found it in the back of his closet when he was cleaning it out to move. She was touching it almost reverently. “I bought you this,” She held up the cap and smiled at Isak, “Remember Terje?”

“I do. You were about thirteen. Your hair used to get in your eyes all the time and you’d complain, so your mother grabbed that up and plopped it on your head,” Isak watched his parents laugh softly at the memory. He could barely remember any of that. The memory replaced with nothing but painful one’s. 

Isak saw Marianne stopped at their nightstand, picking up a framed photo. It was of him and Even, on the tram late one night. They had been coming home from some party with Jonas and Eva. They sat side by side, Even’s arm around Isak’s shoulder, his free hand holding Isak’s. Their clasped hands rested on Isak’s knee. Isak’s head was on Even’s shoulder and Even’s head atop of Isak’s. Both of their eyes were closed. Jonas had snapped the photo. Jonas had framed it and given it to him as a _bro you’re getting married and this is a big fucking deal_ present. 

Isak felt some type of relief when he saw her smile. He didn’t really know why it mattered so much to him, but it did. Some part of him needed his parents to accept his relationship. But antoher part screamed that his mamma and pappa hadn’t really been in his life when it really mattered. When he really needed them. Why should it matter? After all this time, he understood why his parents had abandoned him. _Now_. He understood _now_. But it still hurt.

She held the photo out to Terje, who smiled too. He looked at Isak with something akin to pride. 

The breath was suddenly knocked out of him at the sight of his parents smiling and holding a photo of him and Even. This is what he had wanted since he was fifteen. And now it was too much to handle. 

His palms itched and he knew his anxiety was rising. His mouth went dry. He tried to think of a place to go, but their entire living space was the very room he wanted to escape from. Maybe he could just go outside. Just for a minute. Just until he could focus. 

“I, uh, I’ll be right back,” Isak said quietly, walking over to the door and slipping on the first pair of shoes he saw. They were Even’s and about a size too big. He grabbed a jacket off the hook next to the door and groaned inwardly. It also was Even’s. Didn’t Isak have any fucking clothes of his own out here?

“Isak?” Isak looked over to see his fiancé standing in the kitchen doorway holding a glass of water. His parents behind him. 

“We forgot that thing,” Isak lied, not able to come up with anything better. 

“The thing?” Even raised an eyebrow. 

Isak nodded, “The thing you said we needed.”

“Whatever it is, I’m sure it can wait honey,” Even’s mom spoke up and gave him a warm smile. Since the day he met her, she was nothing but kind to him. Motherly. 

“No, I...”

Isak’s hand was grasped into Even’s. Isak knew he was panicking in front of Even and everyone else, but he didn’t know how to stop it. 

“ _Baby_ ,” Even said softly. Isak saw his dad’s eyes widen in his peripheral vision and Even’s mom brought a hand to her smiling mouth. “Let’s...we’re going to step out for a moment.” 

Isak moved as Even guided him through the apartment doorway and out into the hallway. 

“Tell me.” Even stated, moving his hands to the sides of Isak’s face, forcing Isak to focus on Even. Isak took a breath and tried to concentrate on the face before his. He let Even’s fingers stroke his cheeks. He felt the cool metal of Even’s engagement ring against his skin. And that helped him a bit. He remembered getting that ring for Even weeks after Even had proposed. It wasn’t anything expensive, but Isak fell in love with it because it was old, dented and tarnished, but it held a secret. On the inside of the right was an inscription that read _imperfectly perfect_. He had to have it. 

Once he got home, he had scoured Youtube for videos on cleaning tarnish. He managed to clean it enough so that the inscription gleamed. It still had a tint of cooper color, but Even had put it on immediately, and very rarely took it off.

“My parents,” Isak confessed, twisting his engagement ring on his finger, soothing himself. “It just felt so normal and they looked so happy that I’m happy and I...it’s all I wanted since I was fifteen. And it’s like it’s real but it’s not. Tomorrow we go back to the way we were. Pappa trying too hard and mamma and me talking about nothing.”

“Hey, they’re here now,” Even said gently and Isak tried to look away, but Even wouldn’t let him and held his face. “They’re here for you now.”

“I just...I don’t know if I can ever fully forgive them.” Isak was trying. He really was, but every time he thought he was close, something would happen and he would remember why he was angry all over again. 

“Do you remember that game we used to play?” Even leaned his forehead against Isak’s. “When things got really bad for me, we played Isak and Even, minute by minute.”

Isak nodded. 

“And after a while, we didn’t need to play anymore because we learned to tackle things together, one step at a time?” Isak closed his eyes, letting Even’s voice wash over him. “Let’s play a game. Do you want to know what it’s called?”

Isak felt a lump form in his throat and nodded. 

“It’s called Even and Isak, minute by minute.”

“That’s the game we played,” Isak whispered.

Even shook his head. “Nei. That was _Isak_ and Even. This is _Even_ and Isak. Big difference,” he chuckled, “Do you want to play?”

Once again, Isak had to swallow around the lump in his throat. “Yeah,” he whispered.

“Okay. For this minute, all you have to do is open your eyes and look at me, baby.” 

Isak squeezed his eyes shut tighter, trying to collect himself before he slowly opened them and saw blue staring right back at him.

“Hi baby,” Even whispered with a smile. “There you are.” 

“And now?” Isak whispered back. 

“Now I do this,” Even kissed all over his face, ending at his lips. 

Isak sighed and wrapped his arms around Even’s neck. They stood for a few more minutes, locked in a hug, until Isak’s feet started to tingle from being up on his tiptoes too long. 

“Are you ready to go back inside, baby?” Even nuzzled their noses together and Isak immediately grabbed his hand. 

“Don’t let go?” Isak begged. 

Even squeezed Isak’s hand in return.

—————

Isak felt his cheeks heat up the moment they walked back into the apartment. Their parents had moved to the main room where Isak’s parents were sat on their oversized chair and Even’s were on the bed. 

“We can go,” Marianne stood up and Terje followed her lead.

Isak squeezed Even’s hand just to remind himself that his fiancé was still there. “Nei, stay. We’re celebrating. It’s Christmas.”

His parents watched them for a second.

Taking a deep breath, Isak took a step forward with Even in toe. “Mamma, pappa, I’d like you to officially meet Even, my fiancé.” Isak introduced, holding his breath as Even and his parents looked at each other. Sure, they all knew of each other and Isak knows both his parents have seen his Instagram posts. “Ev, these are my parents, Marianne and Terje.”

Marianne moved first, pulling Even into a brief hug. Isak thought he saw them share a look, but then his father grabbed his attention. 

“Good to meet you,” Terje held out his hand.

“You too Terje,” Even shakes his hand. 

Terje gave him a kind, but tight smile, “So, Even, what are you studying?”

——————

After dinner, Isak felt that overwhelming feeling start to hit him again and quickly excused himself to the kitchen under the guise of getting drink refills for everyone and washing the dishes from dinner. Even had offered to help, but Isak waved him off. He needed a minute to himself.

The sound of Even and Terje talking animatedly about some shared love for an obscure American band reverberates around the room. He hears Even say his name and goes back to scrubbing dishes, trying not to listen any more. If Even wanted him to know about the conversation, he’d tell him later.

“He’s lovely, honey,” His mom’s voice startled him, and the plate he was holding was unceremoniously dropped into the sink with a loud thud. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Isak nodded and turned to face her.

“I’m...I’m glad you’ve found him,” She said earnestly. “I’m glad you found a family when we... when me and your father couldn’t be.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Isak shrugged, not really wanting to have this conversation. Here or really, ever. 

Marianne smiled sadly, “Yes, it is.” She took a small step closer to him. “Don’t excuse us. You were our responsibility and we failed you.”

“I understand, mamma, really.” He didn’t know what she wanted from him. 

“We left you. _I_ left you. And we both pretended like I wasn’t sick and your pappa wasn’t abandoning you. We both put you in an impossible situation.” She said softly. 

“I-I should have stayed with you, mamma. I shouldn’t have left you too. Not like Lea. Not like pappa. Maybe if I’d stayed…” 

“No. That wasn’t... me, your pappa, we weren’t your responsibility. You were ours, okay?” It was the most coherent and sincere he ever remembered seeing his mom. He tried to calm himself, but a tear escaped his eye and trailed down his cheek. 

“Oh, baby,” she cooed, pulling him to her. The hug was awkward, him being several inches taller than her. But being held in her arms, half hunched over to bury his face into her shoulder, he felt safe. Something he hadn’t felt around her for a very long time. 

Isak didn’t know how long he stayed wrapped up in Marianne’s arms. But it was long enough that the water in the sink had gone cold. 

“Isak, I’m proud that you took yourself out of...our situation and found a family. Eskild sounds like...something else, and Jonas has always been like a brother to you, ever since his mother and I put you two next to each in the park. And I’m just...I’m so glad that you and Even found each other,” she tentatively smoothed her hand over his hair. “I’m glad you got out of the toxic environment of my...mental illness.”

Isak looked to the ground, “Even’s...he’s bipolar.”

“I know,” he was surprised to see her so calm.

“You do?”

Marianne nodded, “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but he came and saw me during the summer. He told me everything about his illness, about his manic episodes and his depression. He was worried about you. He was scared that he was hurting you by being with someone who had a mental illness. He didn’t want to make you go through what you went through with me with him.”

“What did you tell him?” Isak sniffled. 

“That getting better is a process and...and not to shut you out when it all feels like it’s too much.” She nodded, “I told him not to make the mistake I did. I told him to hold onto you for as long as you’ll let him. I told him that you were the best thing I’ve ever done in this world. I told him to love you and be happy.”

“Mamma,” Isak tried to bite back a sob.

“I’m getting better, sweetheart. I want to be better. And one day, I’ll get there. Okay? One day you’ll have your mamma back.”

“I already do,” Isak wrapped himself around his mother once again and borrowed his face back into her shoulder for a few seconds. 

“Oh, Isak,” She held onto her son and Isak could feel her burying her nose in his hair, like she did when he was a child. 

“I love you, mamma,” Isak whispered. 

Isak felt her nodded against him, “And I love you, my sweet boy.” 

They hung onto each other for a few more minutes, each calming themselves. 

“Now that the drama is over, because it wouldn’t be a Valtersen event without it,” she joked and Isak chuckled down a sob as he stood up. 

“Did I hear Even call you baby?” She teased gently. 

Isak nodded, clearly embarrassed by her teasing, “Yeah.” But he wasn’t embarrassed to have Even call him that, not anymore. It had grown to mean protection and safety. It meant that Even loves him. 

“He really loves you,” she commented as if reading his thoughts. 

“I love him.” He didn’t know what else to say. 

“Okay, why don’t you and I go back out there and join the party?” She wrapped an arm around his waist, guiding him. 

“Okay, mamma,” he followed her into the living space. He watched as she sat next to Terje. He walked over to Even and was going to sit next to him, but his plans were changed when Even wrapped his arms around his middle and pulled Isak onto Even’s lap. 

“Everything good, baby?”

_Baby._

“Everything’s good.”


	6. Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse into Even and Isak's future.
> 
> The first time Even calls someone else baby, Isak cries. Uncontrollable, gasping sobs that leaves him feeling sick, but he doesn’t care. 
> 
> Isak never imagined he’d ever be here, now.

The first time Even calls someone else baby, Isak cries. Uncontrollable, gasping sobs that leaves him feeling sick, but he doesn’t care. 

Isak never imagined he’d ever be here, now. He watched Even smile even brighter, his eyes shined so happy that it almost bowled Isak down. 

“You’re everything, baby. So perfect,” Even laughed, his voice giddy. 

Isak sat frozen wanting to get up, but he was stuck. Watching as Even kissed another boy. More sobs followed. 

A hand patted his shoulder, startling him. “Are you okay?” A woman was standing in front of him, helping him to his feet. 

“Baby,” Even coed the boy in front of him and Isak felt a fat tear drop down his cheek. 

Even turned to him with the most blinding smile, “He’s perfect, baby. So perfect.” 

Isak looked down at the bundle in Even’s arms. “He’s...he’s beautiful.”

“And he’s ours,” Even looked at Isak with awe, Even’s tears matching Isak’s. 

“Hi Oliver,” Even placed the baby in Isak’s arms, “I’m your pappa.” 

Isak leaned into Even and his husband wrapped an arm around Isak. 

“And I’m your other pappa, baby,” Even smiled and Isak leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. 

\-------------------------------

~ 10 years later ~ 

Isak yawned and rolled out his shoulders, looking over the moving boxes. It had been a long drive with two children in the backseat. Oliver, now 10, and Emil, who just turned 6. When they weren’t sleeping, the boys had fought the entire 23-hour trip from Tromsø to Oslo. 

Looking over to Even, he chuckled under his breath. His husband had fallen asleep standing up, leaning against three stacked moving boxes. His head pillowed in his forearms. 

“Ev,” Isak crossed the distance and gently rubbed his husband’s back. 

“So tired,” Even groaned, standing up, “So much whining and fighting and screaming from the kids. You should’ve just let me drug them,” Even leaned into his husband, “Next time we take that long of a road trip, your ass is learning to drive.” 

Isak laughed, “Sure thing,” he rolled his eyes, smiling. He remembered when Even had tried to teach him to drive at seventeen. It took him a week to work up to turning the engine on, and that was that. When the car rumbled to life, Isak had bailed, leaving Even inside. “And I’m sorry I wouldn’t let you intentionally drug our son’s for absolutely no reason.”

“ _Daddy he hit me_ , _Pappa he’s poking me_ , _Stop - no you stop - no you stop - Daddy!_ ” Even imitated and Isak snorted. “Fuck, I’m tired.” Even yawned. 

“Come on, at least the mattress is set up in our room. The duvet is in a box in there too.” Isak pushed Even towards their new bedroom. “I’ll wake you in a couple hours when dinner gets here.”

“Thanks baby,” Even lazily leaned in to kiss Isak.

“Ugh, daddy, pappa,” Emil was covering his eyes when Isak and Even turned to him. Oliver had taken to calling Isak daddy after hearing some American tourist children say it. He had asked Isak what it meant and since that day, Isak went from being pappa to daddy. 

“We live here too!” Oliver whined, “We don’t need to see you fuc-.”

“Oliver Bech Næsheim, if you dare finish that sentence.” Even warned. Isak could see astonishment written all over Even’s face. 

Oliver shut his mouth so fast it looked like he might swallow his tongue. Isak masked a giggle with a cough. Even rarely scolded the boys, that was usually delegated to Isak, but when Even did, the boys knew it had gotten to the point of being beyond serious.

“Where did you even learn that?” Isak asked in surprise.

“Uncle –”

“Eskild?” Isak supplied. 

Oliver shook his head, “Nei. Uncle Magnus. What does that even mean?”

“Nothing you need to know,” Isak shook his head. “And I think I’m going to have to have a talk with Uncle Magnus.”

Isak knew he was frowning slightly and watched Emil start to laugh. “Uncle Magnus is going to be in so much trouble. Daddy’s got the serious face, Ollie.” 

Isak laughed, “My what face?”

“Your serious face. You make it when Em or me or pappa are in trouble.” Oliver explained. “It’s like this,” Oliver raised an eyebrow and pursed his lips, even trying to narrow his eyes.

Isak heard Even start to chuckle behind him and turned to face his husband. 

“Pappa, he’s giving you the look!” Emil warned. “You’re going to get in trouble!”

“Emil, I’ve been in trouble with your daddy since the day we met,” Even took a few quick strides to ruffle his youngest son’s hair, before patting his eldest on the shoulder. “Alright, I’m going to take a nap.” 

Isak playfully rolled his eyes and accepted a side hug and kiss on the cheek before his husband disappeared down the hall. 

“Daddy,” Emil started, and Isak smiled. The boy was the spitting image of Even. All dark blonde hair and freckled cheeks. 

“Yeah, honey?” Isak took a seat on the sofa. It wasn’t in the correct spot, yet. He and Even had dragged it in and just set it down in an open spot. 

Emil and Oliver clambered over to him, both sitting on one of his sides. 

“Why did we move away from Tromsø?” Emil looked up at Isak, “I liked my teacher. And now I can’t see Mathias.”

Oliver nodded with his little brother, “We didn’t get a choice. I want to go home. I hate Oslo!” The boy pouted. 

Isak knew this was going to come up. He and Even had agonized for weeks about moving back to Oslo. It was nine years ago when Isak had been offered a residency at University Hospital of North Norway. Isak had slightly suspected one of the reasons they invited him was to boost their diversity. He had been honest with every hospital he interviewed with, letting them know he had a husband and a one year old son. He didn’t want to work anywhere that had a problem with him being gay.

After a year and a half stint as a resident, the hospital had offered him a position, and for the past seven and a half years, he had been training and working as a psychiatrist. He had written several research papers on bipolar disorder, mania, insomnia, and depression. This had earned the attention of Oslo University Hospital. Administration had offered him a position at double his salary if he’d join as a staff psychiatrist. He would have to teach a class, but would have access to numerous research assistants, funding, and of course, working with patients. There was also a chance that he would get to run the department in three to five years. And if not, having Oslo on his resume would open doors for him, not just in Norway, but worldwide. 

Even had declared that Isak couldn’t turn the job down. It was too good an offer at a higher ranked hospital. He had reassured Isak that being a film director, producer, and animator allowed him to work anywhere, and that Even often flew to Oslo anyways to work and take meetings. Had reassured Isak that, yeah, it would be hard on the boys at first, but they would be okay. They could even go to Nissen when they got to secondary school. So, two months after being offered the position, Isak and Even were in a car to Oslo. 

“Ollie, Em,” Isak wrapped an arm around each of his children, “This _is_ going to be different. You’re going to a new school, and that can be scary, but your cousins are here and you’ll be going to the same school as them. And Uncle Jonas is going to be there.” 

“Will he be my teacher?” Emil asked. 

“No, baby, Uncle Jonas is the principal. That means he runs the school, and makes sure that all the kids are learning what they should be.” Isak kissed his son’s head, “But he told me that your teacher is very nice.”

“Daddy, can’t we just go back?” Oliver pleaded. 

Isak sighed and kissed Oliver on the head too, “Honey, I know this seems so unfair. I know you want to go back to Tromsø. I’m sorry that pappa and I can’t do that for you.” He paused. “What can I do to make it better?”

“Take me back,” Oliver sighed.

Isak sighed, “Sweetheart, what if we go visit the school and see Uncle Eskild tomorrow? You know where he lives is where I used to live too.” 

“I _know_ , you told us before,” Oliver grumbled. 

Isak sighed, “Honey, can you give this a chance? Your grandparents are so excited that you’re here so they can see you all the time.” 

“I suppose,” Oliver moped. 

Isak half smiled, trying to get through to his son even more, “You know how I’m a doctor?”

“Dr. Isak Valtersen-Bech Næsheim.” Emil exclaimed. 

“That’s right,” Isak nodded, hearing Even’s laughter in his head calling it the longest name in all of Oslo when they got married. “Ollie, pappa and me moved here so I could help the people here in Oslo.”

“You help their brains get better,” Emil added, “Like pappa’s doctor helps his brain so he doesn’t do an...an ep-sode.”

“I do, and you’re right.” Isak nodded, snuggling Emil into his side. He and Even had explained in very broad terms about Even’s Bipolar diagnosis, despite Even only having two small hypomania’s since they had children. “You know, pappa and I met in Oslo at Hartvig Nissen School. We went there with Uncle Jonas, and Uncle Magnus, and Uncle Mahdi, and Aunt Sana and Aunt Eva, and Aunt Vilde.”

“Uncle Eskild?” Ollie asked. 

Isak shook his head, “Uncle Eskild is older than us.”

“Older than pappa?” Emil asked with wide eyes. 

“By one year,” Isak nodded to his son. 

Oliver leaned his head onto Isak’s shoulder, “Baby, everything’s going to be okay,” Isak turned his head so he could kiss Oliver’s hair. 

“Promise?” Oliver asked, sniffling.

“I promise, baby.” Isak yawned and watched as his sons followed suit. “Shall we take a nap?”

“With you and pappa?” Emil asked. 

Normally Isak would say no. From the very beginning he and Even had a “no kids in bed with us” rule unless one of them was sick or hurt. Isak suspected that Even would tend to break that rule when Isak was called into work at night, or scheduled the night shift rotation. “Sure, come on,” Isak was going to let this one slide because his boys were hurting, scared and in a new city, almost a day away from the only life they had known. 

Isak watched each boy as they entered his and Even’s bedroom. Even was sprawled out on the mattress like a starfish. The duvet was loosely clutched in his hand, but wasn’t covering the older man. Isak thought it was adorable. “Okay, don’t wake pappa,” he instructed and gently pulled the duvet from Even’s grasp. 

Emil automatically curled himself up on the left side of the bed, resting his head on Even’s chest. 

“Here you go baby,” Isak laid the duvet so it covered the entire mattress before slipping into bed. Isak pillowed his head against Even’s shoulder and held his hand out to Oliver, who dove into bed. Oliver turned so his back was pressed against Isak’s side and Isak’s arm was curled around the boy, holding him protectively. 

“Sweet dreams my babies,” Isak whispered. 

————-

Something was kicking him in his thigh and both his arms were tingling with numbness. But when he went to move, he couldn’t. Groaning he opened his eyes to find his son half on his chest and arm, and his husband’s head on his shoulder. He glanced over to see his other son snoring lightly. He was kicked again and this time he could tell it was a small leg. Rubbing Emil’s back up and down seemed to soothe him enough to stop. 

“Hei,” Isak smiled softly. 

“Halla,” Even greeted back and kissed his husband. 

“Look at our babies,” Isak smiled. 

Even kissed him again, “Look at my baby.” 

“Hmmm...your baby,” Isak repeated. 

“I remember when that word used to freak you out,” Even commented. 

Isak shrugged, “Not anymore.”

“What does it mean to you now?” Even had to know. 

Isak thought for a second before kissing Even again. 

_“Everything.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is not the end. I have written extra scenes that go along with the story. I will be posting those as they are done. I have a lot of head canon related to this story. Also, I have a chapter that didn't quite fit within the story and didn't move along the timeline, but it's done. Be on the look at for that. 
> 
> I am taking prompts based on this story (no promise of filling them, but I'll do my best). So if there's something you are curious about, leave a comment!
> 
> Don't forget to subscribe to the series to get updates! Thank you so much for all your support and for reading!
> 
> (*shameless plug: I also got really into Skam France, and so I have a few stories in the works based on Eliott and Lucas*)

**Author's Note:**

> Just got hooked into Skam and Evak and have watched their storyline multiple times to the point where this plot bunny came out. This story is completely written and will be updated regularly.
> 
> I am not a native Norwegian, nor do I speak the language. Everything is Google translate, or found on websites.


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